JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
