I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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