alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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