Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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