I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
