Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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