she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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