Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
