I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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