Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
