What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
