some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
