we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
