Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
