talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
