Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
