with your own penis?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
