Tell her she can't have a vagina
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
