I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
