I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
