we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
