giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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