Plan B is the new Plan A
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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