I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
