Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize