So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
