I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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