it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
