I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
