Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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