I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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