You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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