I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
