Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
