So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
