break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
