My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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