I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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