cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
