You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
