i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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