I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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