I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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