walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
