Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
