she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
