Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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