I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
