dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
