i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The Olympian is in my bed
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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