i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
