well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
