I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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