I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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