i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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