I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
