She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
