i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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