So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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